an insight to my life.

hurt

I miss my father so much, he was the only who really cared about me and stood up for me, or so I thought. He ended up betraying me in the end, but I hold onto those memories of when he did care, when he was being true to himself and me because its the only thing that keeps me going. 

My mum and sister have always been close and would always pair up against me, but my father always used to defend me. 

Now I have no one and it hurts so much. They continue to say shit about me and my life, but I don’t have it in me to fight back because every time I try, I lose. 

I wish someone cared about me the way he used to.

let go.

I’ve spent all my life bottling my hate, my anger, my sadness and I know what a toll it has taken on me but nobody else ever seemed to noticed 

… but somebody finally did. 

This woman came up to me yesterday and stared straight into my eyes, enough for her to see through my soul and you know what she said.. “there’s so much anger inside of you. You’re so angry” she whispered it, like she knew I wanted no one to know. 

She told me to “let go” and something clicked, like finally someone else was telling me to do the one thing I was battling with myself so hard to do. 

I don’t think it’ll be easy, but I think with time I can do just that. Let go. Let go of all that has held me back.